Whether you know it or not you are a target.
I would put my life on it that you have already been a victim......many times over!!!
Just think back;
- how many odd socks do you possess?
- Where do you suppose they have gone?
Your mistake, like mine for many years, is to assume they are wedged under the bed or lurking under the wardrobe to be found at a later date.
In truth they have been stolen and whisked away to the land of The Doldrums....the architects of these crimes lurk where your back is turned, creep where you are not looking and frequently make the journey into your homes, into your bedrooms and to where you sleep to complete their endeavours.
I have come to call them SOCK HORRORS as they are evolved from socks, of that I am sure, and they are truely horrific.
Let me tell you how it all began...
The first I captured I called Zum after the sound he made, like a buzz or hum but barely audible. At first I thought it was an attempt at communication but later found that it was the pent up rage leaking out. He was like a relentless ball of fury; the futility of which amused me.
I learnt much from this little creature but though many questions were answered, just as many remained and in fact I became more and more unsettled.
From that moment on I have endeavoured to ensnare as many Sock Horrors as is humanly possible and discovered a great variety of species!
The process of presenting a doldrite to you does not end with the catch.
There are hours of investigation and classification, followed by a lengthy taxidermy process where the physical appearance of the doldrite is preserved to the utmost detail, the process of which will not be fully divulged here but there are many identifying features that will help you to be sure you have a Sock Horror original:
- Their eyes are given special attention to capture and retain their true colour by use of an innovative chemical bath that carefully alters the chemical composition of the eye and renders is impervious to external influences.
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Each doldrite is marked with a brand of origin as derived from the address of this web portal which is secured to the doldrites ankle or tush.
- A swing neck tag, also denoting origin, hangs round each doldrites neck as a warning to would be rescuers that punishment for invasion in our homes is severe. These tags also serve as mini tomes (in the smallest sense of the word) giving information to collectors on the land of The Doldrums and the factions in effect there.
Each Sock Horror also has an Autopsy Toe Tag carrying much of the information found in my personal journal as determined in preliminary examination on capture of each cretin, and informs you of their breed, faction, and region of origin fromw ithin the doldrums.
To protect the specimens from environmental pressures and to extend the ‘life’ of the prize a made to measure zip up body bag is created out of specially devised materials.
There is a gallery dedicated to diplaying the SOCK HORRORS I have managed to trap over recent months. There is also a special exhibition of Sock Horrors the discerning collector may procure, but be warned; though they may seem cute they are anything but.
BEWARE YOUR SOCKS
Madame Horror